Friday, June 30, 2006

I hate you

I hate you
Even when i'm not with you
You make me cry
Even when i drive
Your word stays in me
Everytime you spoke to me
I don't like you
Simply because i hate you

I just cried when i drove to fetch sis from office. Never had i did this before but i just can't stand it. Drops of tears just flow like rushing river. Normally i like to cry when i'm hurt and sad, alone in the room hugging my pillow. It's a good way to release myself. Now i feel better after i cried but i can't imagine i did it when i'm driving. Even little girl from other car saw it and looking at me curiously.. ;)

About what? About the one that i hate very much. He called when i'm taking my nap. Telling me a lot of things i don't like to hear. Leaving back echo of voices in my mind that i can't delete, in my sleep till i release it just now. That's why my family don't like to pick up house phone, simple because we don't want to listen to him speak.

Lord, help me, help me. I hate him much but i know i should not. Help me to forgive and forget, what he has done in my life. Lord, i hate him, very much. I'm sorry Lord, help me to forgive, my dad.

3 comments:

The Dreamer said...

u know it's not right but it's hard to control.. it's so easy to hate a person but it's so hard to put in courage to like.. his words may be painful like a sting worst than a bee, but dun let hate overpowering ur life.. he's not willing to change, but u can.. whenever hate visits, tell urself, it will leave as soon as u want it to leave... u respect him as u must but u control ur life, not him... it may not be now, but somehow, i believe he will regret.. there is no perfect in everything u do.. but live with no regrets.. when u think u are alone, think more.. u still have ur mom, ur sis, ur bro, ur dl and us, frens... a big MUAH! to u... hope u'd brighten up...

~ HöOVéRBélL a.k.a BéCKz ~ said...

thanks dreamer, will take what you say to heart.

LX said...

It's never going to be easy. But if the Lord can forgive your dad, I am sure all the more you must too. Must really pray about it. I may not know what really went on, but I can sense it's something very painful.